Dear Jason Collins, Thank You.

Dear Jason,

Two weeks ago, I wrote my son a letter. He is 20-months old and though he is not yet asking me why sometimes bad things happen, I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that one day he would, and I wouldn't know what to say. And so after the terrifying events at the Boston Marathon, I sat down and I wrote to him. I told him that I didn't have any answers. I told him that sometimes the world doesn't make very much sense to me. And I told him that the only way we can get through these devastating moments is to focus on all the good that's out there. The two people who orchestrated the attack in Boston were far outnumbered by the amazing people who volunteered their time, their homes, and their money to make sure those most affected were taken care of.

What I reminded my son in that letter, and really what I reminded myself as well, is that when something happens to shake our faith in humanity, the key to restoring it is often right there beside it. And now, two weeks later, here you are, standing before America, telling our children that it is okay for them to be exactly who they are.

I am not sure you fully understand the gift you have given my son and the other children of his generation. I have no way of knowing what will happen next. But, the mere fact of your existence goes a long way in shattering some of the stereotypes that exist.  I was recently telling another mother about how anxious my husband is to start playing sports with our son. I relayed a conversation I had with my husband where I warned him that it was possible our son wouldn't be that interested in sports, and that he would have to be okay with it. As I told this woman the story, I said "I just want him to realize that it's possible our son --" and before I finished my sentence, she cut me off and said "could be gay?"

The funny thing was, she wasn't being outwardly homophobic or discriminatory. She wasn't suggesting that there was anything wrong with him if he was gay or that it was a problem if he wasn't interested in sports. The interesting part was that she took those two things to be synonymous. These stereotypes are such a part of our culture that even people who believe themselves to be loving and open-minded have adopted them without realizing it. Your courage in sharing your story, whether others follow your lead or not, is a huge step towards helping us all rethink these ideas.

I read a lot of the comments yesterday after your article came out. One of the most fascinating themes I came across were the people who suggested that nothing you have done is heroic. These people suggested that there's nothing wrong with being gay, but that there's no reason to give you a front page article or call it news. I have been called an idealist before, but these people have far surpassed me. I wish it was true that this isn't news. I wish the world we live in was so incredibly welcoming and warm that an NBA player being gay meant nothing. But the fact of the matter is, that's not the world we live in, and in this flawed world, it means a great deal. You have taken the first step to knocking down a major barrier in this country. You have taken the words of Chris Kluwe and Brendon Ayanbadejo and you've made them mean something. So much of this problem is a matter of ignorance, and you have provided education and information in a way that no one else has.

I also came across a number of people who have suggested that the fact that you have an identical twin who is straight proves that being gay is a choice. I do not wish to go into the scientific specifics of this, all I want to say is that I have an identical twin sister who is taller than I am. No one has ever suggested that I chose to be short.

I have been thinking a lot about how scary this must have been for you. After so many years of guarding this secret, letting it go in such a public way must have been terrifying. Your courage is truly remarkable. Thank you for doing this. Thank you for taking us all by the hand and leading us down this road. I know that the haters can be really loud. I know that the nastiness that comes out of people's mouths is sometimes almost too horrible to be believed. But as I told my son after the bombing in Boston, the good people are out there. The love is out there. There are so many people who have been positively affected by your act of bravery, including so many young children who don't even know it yet.

As a mother, I wanted to say thank you. It just got a little easier to raise my son in America.

All the best,
Tamar